According to a sex therapist in Cambridge, with a PhD and MA, Gina Ogden, and author of The Return of Desire, sex has become another thing worrying the woman of today besides money, the kids, and her blackberry. According to a survey carried out on thousands of women, about 60% of the readers of prevention say they are not happy with their sex lives and they don’t get full satisfaction.

It takes the dedication and hard work of the two partners for things to work out. Work out a plan and discuss it with your partner. Come up with tips that are an inspiration to both of you and dedicate a few weeks on this vital course of rekindling the passion. Sheryl Kingsberg, PhD, psychologist and chief of behavioral medicine at the University of Hospital Case Medical Center and a professor of reproductive biology at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine says that, “Romance cannot take care of itself and neither will it last forever.” A few tips can help spice things up leading to a healthier and happier sex life that is full of satisfaction.

Find some quality time in your busy schedule to spend with your partner. Ten to fifteen minutes are enough every night for a few weeks to talk about what each of you wants. According to Mary Jo Rapin, a Huston sex and relationship psychotherapist, one of the best ways for a couple to instantly feel connected is by daily check-in. Set sexy goals that you aim to achieve. Improving your sex life may be your ultimate aim but you have to do much more. ” It entails making changes in your body, mind and relationship,” Says Ogden. You have to feel sexier in order to get closer to your partner. Be daring and ask your partner to try out new things that you fancy and have always wanted to try out. Take things to a whole new different level.  According to a study carried out in 2008, people who approached this problem with a positive attitude and goals, tend to achieve what they are aiming at within a very short time than those who didn’t have any or those who approached it in a negative way. Write down a few features that make you feel beautiful and sexy. According to a study carried out in the University of Texas women with high body esteem were found to have high levels of sexual desire. 20% of the women did not have desire for sex because they were embarrassed about their bodies.

Make changes on your daily routines. Instead of jumping out of bed when the alarm goes off in the morning like you do; take a few minutes to connect with your partner by cuddling. Smile and look into each other’s eyes. Ogden says that, “this allows connection and acknowledgement before a busy day begins.” ” Develop small, intimate moments in your day.” Kingsberg says. Instead of the usual peck on the forehead that you are used to, have a long and passionate goodbye kiss.

Relax and through yoga, calm your mind. Learn to focus when you are having sex. Ellen Benet, the author of Sexy Yoga says that tree posing which is a balancing posture teaches the mind how to focus on the present. “Even during sex, you will find a woman’s mind wandering to a million different places,” says Barrett. Leave the blinking blackberry alone and you will find time to fold your laundry later. Put on something cute that creates an atmosphere that says, “I want to get freaky tonight” Kingsberg says that, “this is showing that you are not taking your partner for granted in a disguised way”

Morning sex is very important in keeping the fire burning. Stop all the excuses of having to get to work early, your breath is not fresh or you feel tired. According to the sex survey carried out, only about 23% of the women usually have morning sex, and this is wrong according to Eva Cwynar an endocrinologist and assistant clinical professor of medicine at UCLA with an MD. She says, “Biochemically speaking, sex being the first thing in the morning makes sense. You have the energy because cortisol is at its peak in the morning when you wake up. Afterwards hormones like oxytocin are released and you are in a good mood for the rest of your day.” Seven to thirteen minutes are enough and therefore no need to wake up earlier than usual. Even if you are not in the mood, do it anyway, you will enjoy in the long run.

Go to bed early with your partner. Don’t wait up your favorite late night TV show; instead turn off the TV and spend some quiet intimate time with your partner.  Sometimes you can just spend the time hugging and kissing. Have enough downtime. This is according to Kingsberg.If you want to have a good time, treat yourself and give your partner a sweet treat and share a good laugh with them.

Going to the gym can also be of very much help especially it comes to arousal problems in male. According to a Canadian study, men who don’t exercise have a 40 to 60% chance of erectile dysfunction experiences. Have night talks with your partner and discuss about your sexual wish list. According to Michael Krychman, MD, executive director of .the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine and director of sexual medicine at Hoag Hospital, novelty can do wonders to your sex life.”Low libido I often caused by boredom and what is actually happening in your sex life. Sex has become a routine that involves no emotions or thought.” He says.” You have to avoid doing the same thing over and over. Your sexual script needs to be rewritten.”