Letters and Editorials 4953 Views by Dalila EL.

Dating and Divorces: Internet kills Love between Couples?



Internet is (after friends) the ultimate matchmaker for dating. It is even more popular than the bars or the workplace with singles. Of course, there is Facebook, which has perhaps not been designed for drag, but where friendship requests can quickly lead to "maybe more" ... But what about dating sites?

A study conducted by a researcher from Chicago, John T. Cacioppo, even established that a third of marriages nowadays in the United States marriages result from online dating.

In the world, some 8,000 sites devoted to finding your soul mate would represent an annual business of two billion dollars. This is at least according to Dan Slater in his essay Love in the Time of Algorithms. The American journalist argues that the phenomenon of online dating has transformed our ways of being, living and loving.

In his view, it would be equivalent to upset the sexual revolution, which from 1960 has significantly changed our habits. "Never before have we had the opportunity to come into contact with as efficiently as potential partners. I think it marks a significant change in our way of thinking about relationships. "

 No need to be a subscriber to OkCupid to know: an impressive number of interesting candidates are only a few clicks away from us.Maybe they do not all look like Johnny Depp or the IQ of Hillary Clinton, but there are thousands or even millions of singles which were unprecedented access.

Dan Slater maintains that this sea of ​​possibilities could cause attention problems in many people and influence the duration of their relationship. "The rise of dating sites will result in a decrease in the longevity of couples," he predicts. It raises the specter of relations Kleenex, the first disposable turbulence.Relationships for which no effort because there is always the promise (virtual) to find someone "this more" or "less than that."

In his essay, the journalist quotes a few experts who are of the same opinion. "In the future, we will see better relations, but more divorce," says Dan Winchester, founder of UK dating site FreeDating. Gian Gonzaga, senior director of research and development of famous eHarmony site also provides a world "where dating sites will push people to end their relationship as soon as it no longer work. "

Dan Slater believes also that love is being a commodity like any other. After all, dating sites allow you to choose the "product" with rare precision. We can determine the age, height, weight, hair color of the man or woman we're looking for. And if the "product" we are not satisfied after the first or tenth visit, we simply find new profiles of singles to find a "model" more to our liking.

Unlike Dan Slater, Cynthia Bélanger, Product Manager at Network Contact, does not believe that the phenomenon of online dating sites threatens the survival of couples. By cons, those who attend can actually become more demanding and picky, she concedes.

"The more opportunities we have, the more it becomes difficult to make a choice. We have access to so many singles that we tend to always want to consult the record of the next. "She also noted that the members of these networks more hesitant before committing when they met someone who interests. "They keep an exit door, in case they find better!"

 According to the psychologist, new technologies have more perverse stir up jealousy among couples effect."People are much more suspicious than before," she notes. The early relationship difficulties, they will tend to monitor Facebook account and texting their partner.

It is true that this time we keep contact with our ex on social media and where any remote friend can comment in our flattering selfies, opportunities to flirt online is increasing. "This is a temptation that was not there before and that can cause some harmful effects."

Can dating sites actually cause a wave of divorces and affect the desire we have to commit ourselves?

For now, despite what some experts say, nothing allows us to certify. The divorce rate has been stable for several years in the United States and Canada. Better: U.S. study reported that one-third of American marriages resulted from an online dating also revealed that couples from the Internet were also (and even more) stable than those formed in the "real life. "

As to the duration of the relationship, it began to decline well before the onset of Match.com in 1995, as noted by Elizabeth Abbott, author of Universal History of chastity and celibacy and a history of marriage. The historian said that it is rather the end of the 19th century conception of our commitment began to change when it became acceptable to end an unhappy marriage.

"Today, we met someone serendipitously or through the algorithm of a dating site, we commit knowing that infidelity or separation are contingencies. And it has nothing to do with how we met our partner. "

Historian doubt that the Internet can pose a real threat for couples. "It is possible to imagine many things with the Internet ... But when the eyes of the screen, which looks around and sees his spouse or child is up, I think we quickly realized that the reality is stronger than virtual fantasies. "And if we are not a couple, dating sites can always help us find the person with whom you will really want to get involved. Even if they have nothing of a wand ...

 







Comments

There are 0 comments on this post

Leave A Comment