Ottawa Dating: How To Win Over A Reluctant Woman



One of the things that is a simple fact is that a woman who is attractive will always test a guy before allowing herself to be with him.

They have always done this, and they ESPECIALLY do it today. There are ALL KINDS of reasons for this, ranging from being spoiled (these days especially) to more noble reasons such as a girl not wanting to be "cheap" and having high self-esteem and showing she has standards, etc.

It's REALLY important to realize that even
a girl with the SWEETEST of personalities
will test a guy during the initial pick-up and
sometimes beyond as well. The key difference
is that a girl who is sweet will test a guy in
a way that is not b-i-t--c-h--y, but she will
still throw him tests, she will try to "JAM"
his radar, try to throw him off, try to discourage
him, try to make him feel he has no chance
with her.

Let me give you a few examples:

1. While initially chatting to her, she may
tell you that her background is too different
from yours and that she's sorry but she
guesses it won't work and have a nice
day. (This actually happened to me in
real life with a girl who ended up being
a great long term relationship!)

2. She may tell you she is in a rush and
can't talk.

3. She may chat with you for a good
TWENTY minutes where clearly you
were cool, witty, and dominant, and
STILL she may suddenly put up a struggle
with giving you her number and tell
you that she really has to get going,
and that maybe "you'll see her around"
even though you KNOW she LOVED
the chat.

4. All the above is from real life pickups.
But for example, online, you may have
a girl chat with you for a while and
you know she is enjoying it and that
she hasn't had as cool of a guy chat
with her before, and still she may
be reluctant to send you a pic.

I could go on and on, forever, but I
think you get the idea.

It's SOOOOO important to be able to
KNOW what is really going on in
these situations. Sometimes, yes,
the girl is being genuine and she
really does have to go. But MOST
of the time, or at least DAMN OFTEN,
she is simply TESTING YOU or
she is feeling that she is simply
playing a ROLE of hard to get.

Either way, you CAN'T accept what
she says at face value, or you will
get NOWHERE.

The key to responding to her tests is
to NEVER get upset, and yet also to
know where to draw the line. If a woman
is being outright RUDE, then even though
you CAN get her, she is going to be
TROUBLE and you should weed her
OUT of your life right then and there.

But let's say a woman tells you something
like "Oh, I'm of such and such background,
(very different than yours) sorry!"

If you accept that, she is thinking to herself,
"What a pathetic guy! If he REALLY
wanted me, he would understand that I have
to play a little hard to get, and plus if he was
REALLY a MAN, he would not be deterred
by such an innocent "act" that is not insulting
you at all."

And she is thinking:
"I don't WANT a guy who doesn't really
want me."

NOTE: WANTING a woman is VERY different
than being NEEDY for her. I mean VERY
VERY VERY different.

You ever hear a woman say she wants a man
"Who knows what he wants and knows how
to get it"??? That's because she's talking
about things like CONFIDENCE and KNOWING
what you want, including wanting HER,
and wanting YOU to know how to GET her.

If she has to TEACH you how to get her,
then it's not going to be attractive to her
at all.

So, if a woman gives you a reason why she
has to go, OVER-RIDE it with something
INTERESTING and EMOTIONALLY
RELEVANT, don't ARGUE LOGICALLY
with her. Either CONTINUE the pick-up
as if she didn't even say anything negative,
or you can sometimes CALL HER ON HER
HARD TO GET ACT but do it in a confident,
playful way that reframes her behavior as
a sign of a compliment to you:
i.e. "Are you always this hard to get with guys
that you like?"

Sometimes girls actually feel UNCOMFORTABLE
when they are feeling ATTRACTION very FAST,
which is what happens when you get good at this
stuff.

So what a girl will do is try to JAM your game
and mess YOUR THOUGHTS AND CONFIDENCE
up as she's afraid that if she doesn't mess you up,
she's going to end up in bed with a guy that she
hardly knows (you)simply because she feels
ATTRACTED to you.

So for example, she may suddenly tell you,
after you have attracted her and intrigued
her and made her feel like you are one
in a billion, she may say:
"You're odd."

She really means "You're UNBELIEVABLE"
but to give you such a compliment, unless
SHE is super confident herself, well she
feels to give you such a compliment so
fast would render her vulnerable.

The key then is not to RIP her to shreds
verbally for saying "You're odd" but also
not to accept her words either.

Again, REFRAME, because the truth is,
It IS a compliment.

"So what makes you so attracted to odd?"

This leads me to a SECOND major point,
related to this whole shit test thing, but
also important in GENERAL in all pick-ups.

YOU MUST BE SUPERIOR TO HER

I was the guy who said this long ago, and
it was massively politically incorrect. And
yet, if you know me, you know that I am
not into thinking of women as "hos and
b***ches" and I actually enjoy a relationship
when I'm in it. I do respect women, believe
it or not. HOWEVER, I ALSO know that
attraction is a ruthless thing, and that
superiority IS essential.

What do I mean by this?
Being WITTIER than her.
Being FUNNIER than her.
Being MORE dominant than her.
Being FASTER in response than her.
Being SHARPER than her.
Having more CONVICTION in your frame
than she does in hers.
Better use of tonality.
Better ability to lead a group and withstand
social pressure.
Greater status, even if it comes from simply
being better with PEOPLE.

And much more.

Do you have to be ALL these things?
No, but the idea is to be as powerful as possible.

This is the ruthless reality of attraction.

When a hottie SENSES this, it's RARE.
Usually, she OWNS the guy.
And here, with you, when you have
these skills, you are OWNING
the frame, you are KICKING butt,
and she knows it.

And the craziest thing of all, is that she
LOVES it.

She doesn't WANT to WIN!
If she "wins" over the guy, she feels she
has LOST.

But she can't just LET you win, as that's
not a real win.

Hence, we get back to the first point,
the TESTS.

And yet, the more COOL you are in general,
the LESS of course she will ever need to
TEST you.

Remember, also that WINNING can ONLY
come from being SMOOTH. If you think
that getting angry is a form of dominance,
you're wrong, at least when it comes to
the actual pick-up.

Now, getting AGGRESSIVE when getting
physical with a woman is something else,
and there's a time and place for everything,
but that's not really the same as anger.

Another CRITICAL point I want to make
is that when I say that you don't need
any GIMMICKS to attract a woman,
that doesn't mean that there isn't
WORK to be done.

In fact, becoming a true NATURAL with women
is the HARDEST TRAINING you will ever
find yourself doing on EARTH.

The reason for this is because this attraction
is flowing from the power of your PERSONALITY,
which means you must develop and build
the characteristics inside of yourself just
like a natural bodybuilder develops his
muscles to the greatest development
possible with arduous effort in the gym.

And to quote Arnold, who once said that
the greatest feeling in the world comes
from the PUMP that you feel in the muscles
that you get from lifting weights, so too with
enhancing the sexy personality traits that are
in you right now and are waiting to BLOSSOM
as you build them up to PEAK levels,
it requires EFFORT, but is at the same
time ENJOYABLE.

The feeling is AWESOME.
I'm not just talking about the RESULTS you
get with women, of course that's awesome,
but I'm talking about the FEELING you
get FROM developing these traits and
emotions within you.

It's hard work, and sometimes you have to
take it ONE trait at a time.

For example, at first, you may have to just
work on being more DOMINANT.

But that's just a first step, as you then have
to LAYER IN other traits, such as being
PLAYFUL.

Then, another trait can be layered in, such
as being INTRIGUING.

Then, more SEXUAL. Then, more UPBEAT.
Then, learning to develop a more
"WARM INNER GLOW".

One last point I want to mention, and that
is the PHYSICAL SET UP you encounter
when you are doing pick-up.

If you approach a group of women or
one woman who is SEATED, and there
are no SEATS for YOU, then it's going
to look weird if you STAND the entire
time while she gets to be comfy and
sitting. It makes YOU look like you
are TRYING hard. After all, she is
all comfy and you are standing.

And of course, if there IS a place to
sit and you STILL stand, then you
look not only as if you are trying
hard, but you also look as if you
are afraid to make yourself comfortable,
as if you needed her permission or
invitation to sit down.

So, always strive to make yourself
COMFORTABLE. If there are no
seats, then at least lean against the
wall if possible. Don't EXAGGERATE
these things, just get comfortable.

I really do want every single good guy
to succeed with women, and I believe
that's a realistic goal if any guy is
COMMITTED to this skill. 


Main reference: http://www.getagreatgirl.com



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