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Transsexuals: The Long Path To Femininity

by Liv


So you want to be a t'girl and be treated like the little princess that didn't get a chance when younger. A number of adults seemingly want this lifestyle handed to them on a silver platter. Or maybe to be dressed up in pretty clothes as many little girls were by their mommy.

I am amazed at the number of people who from the comfort of their home ask and plead to have you go over, bring your clothes and make-up for their use. Is this a longing for a mother figure, or for an adult model, to mentor the individual. Perhaps with some this a plot to entrap the out t'girl into a sexual adventure.

Some closet t'girls want 'their cake and eat it too.' They demand to piggy back on the experience of others. Girls, we all must learn to walk in heels by ourselves.

All biological women have to face and learn the female roles and expressions laid out by society. A t'girl who thinks that they can simply skip the learning challenges is insulting the woman they profess to emulate.

A biological woman doesn't expect her girlfriends to supply cosmetics. Oh sure, there can be and is sharing, but surely not supplying. Do some think that they can escape trial and error purchasing of cosmetics, or somehow avoiding the real cost of experimentation with ones looks?

Yes, I know that beauty comes with real financial and emotional costs. Have you ever wondered why the beauty industry is recession proof? Possibly because real woman embrace the costs as part of being a woman.


Yes, indeed sisters growing up in the same household, share clothing. However if there is to be peace in the home, sharing is done with permission and acknowledgment. It is a reciprocal arrangement, an earned privilege. It is not a right.

Recently, I had a friend visit from out of town, she needed nail polish remover and asked, rather than simply going into my cabinet as a right.

This woman marvels at the time a t'girl puts towards her feminine self, time not available to her as a young mother. Time available to her before taking on her biological role of mother; a role a t'girl will never experience.

Do we envy each other? No. Respect for what the other has chosen to focus on and be realistic about is all that is possible.

Does this woman consider supplying the t'girl with cosmetics or clothing? No. Rather, she demands that she earn her femininity.

Now don't take this ranting as a desire to not help those that are willing to put effort into the work of being a woman. Girlfriends can and do share, sisterhood is about sharing, not using another.


Yes, a t'girl usually misses being dressed as a youngster by mommy in satin and lace. She must learn what looks good on her by herself... at best with another woman. She must learn what is appropriate for the occasion and for what response is desired.

T'girls have been observed wearing evening gowns during a mid day shopping adventure. In this case the t'girl attracting the attention she deserves, that of being read as not understanding and respecting social feminine codes of dress.

Girls you want to be accepted. You don't want to be judged. So learn the codes and conduct appropriate for a woman in society. Don't expect to simply put on a dress and become a woman. You will probable blow it when you skip past social rules of behavior.

Leap frog in matters of social and behavioural learning is a dangerous game.

Elders have told you before that anything worth having is earned. The public can never be expected to accept the transgender community when we insult and behave outside the codes of social conduct.

Recently there has been some attention given to violence towards t'girls. Are these girls acting like women when they pick fights at a club. I think not! They have put on the female clothing, but the hormones of male aggression are omnipresent in such incidences.

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Do biological girls frequent places known for violence? Not unless they have forgotten or ignore rules of safety necessary for all. Woman are objectified in our society. Safety in learning to listen to those messages from within are crucial. The wise woman within, ancients have spoken of can guide you to safe negotiation of the path. A bright woman is proactive; she acts with intent. A man is too often reactive.

So girls, the need and desire to wear the female costume comes with necessity to work on the spirit not simply on role play. The celebration (as in all good times) takes work. Learn from your sisters. Don't steal from the results of their efforts.

Editorial reference, LINK

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