Since the coronavirus pandemic struck, nearly everything we did physically—from weddings to romantic dates, work and even medical appointments—have all been moved online. Even sexual relationships weren’t spared as government-imposed lockdown measures meant couples and even strangers who craved intimacy had to rely on technology and their creativity to gain some satisfaction.

If sexting is something you have never done before, didn’t have any interest in, or was just never really necessary, you might need to move with the times as more and more people are relying on their smartphones to gain some level of intimacy that isn’t quite attainable in person.

“While sexting is great for couples who are already established but apart because of COVID-19, it’s also great for new relationships (i.e., meeting on a dating app), because it establishes a connection,” said Megan Stubbs, a sexologist and relationship coach in a report.

One thing is certain, the lockdown may have made a lot of us freer and more at ease with expressing our sexuality in different ways. Many couples, especially those in long-distance relationships see sexting as a way to build more intimacy with their partner but it can only be fun if you’re both comfortable and willing to keep the sexual connection alive.

Video chat sex is the best type of sexting that builds more intimacy with your partner and if done rightly, can feel just as satisfying as the real thing. If you’re looking to make your next video call with your partner hot and sensual, here are some expert tips to guide you:

1. Seek consent

It is important to first ask for consent from your partner before engaging in video chat sex. That you’re in the mood for it doesn’t mean your partner is and this would help to eliminate any obstructions beforehand.

So, before you video call your partner and get all sensual, ensure they have mutually consented to it and have a fair idea of what to expect.

2. Choose the right video platform

There are several video messaging platforms out there but before you even conceive the notion of getting naughty on camera, you should do a little research into whichever platform you intend to use and its suitability for that purpose.

For instance, platforms like WhatsApp, Zoom, and Skype have certain rules against sexually explicit content and nudity that may be a deterrent.

3. Ensure you trust each other completely

Being intimate with someone physically requires a level of trust but doing so over a video call, requires a stronger level of trust.

In this era of smartphones that are equipped with features that can allow people to screenshot and record content without your consent, it is important for your safety to only have video chat sex with people you trust. You wouldn’t want your nudes falling in the hands of a randy individual because of a rash decision while you were horny.

4. Have a schedule in advance

Just like you would with a real-life meet-up, it is important to schedule your steamy video call session with your partner in advance. Not only does it build up the excitement, but it also allows you both to figure out where you want to have the call and what you want to wear or do.

Springing up video chat sex on your partner unannounced rarely ends well, except you both have a sort of video sex carte blanche.

5. Decide where you’ll set up your camera

For some novices, you might be thinking you’ll be fine holding your phone in your hand but as things get freaky (as they most likely would), you’ll realize how much of a terrible idea that would be.

Having both hands to yourself for arousal is necessary when you’re in the heat of the moment, so you need to first prop your phone. Place it in a safe place that gives your partner a good view of yourself and under proper lighting.

6. Limit distractions

Generally, it’s absolutely rude to give attention to your phone when you’re having a private time with your boo. The same applies to video chat sex and to avoid ruining the mood, you should limit distractions to the barest minimum.

“It can be hard enough to establish intimacy via video, so the last thing I want is a work email to interrupt the moment,” said Sarah Sloane, a sex educator and coach when speaking to Women’s Health.

Choose a time in the day that works for you and a private location. Since you’ll be using your phone, switch it to do not disturb mode and disable any intrusive notifications.

7. Treat your session as a date

A video chat sex doesn’t have to always start and end with you both getting naked and ready to get naughty. If you feel the need to build up the pace and set a romantic atmosphere as you would with a real-life date, then absolutely go for it.

You can set up your apartment with mood lighting, scented candles, and even a bottle of wine. Then you both can have light table conversations before the mood veers towards more sexual activities. It’ll be an unforgettable and romantic experience.

8. Quickies are also a thing

Who says you can’t have a quickie over a video chat? If you both have busy schedules, sexting can be a great way to foreplay and build up excitement.

Once the opportunity presents itself, you can hop on a video together for a few minutes and ease off the sexual tension that has been building up.

9. Take advantage of old memories

If whoever you’re having the video chat sex with is someone you’ve had a sexual relationship with previously, then using that to your advantage would be great.

Pull out a sexual memory of you both that is almost unforgettable and take it on from there. This can be a really quick way to get your partner excited and more imaginative.

10. Use pleasure toys

Sexual toys can enhance the whole experience and make it more performative, especially if your partner has a kink of watching you masturbate. Slowly put on a tease while stroking yourself with the toy in the frame to give your partner a good view.

However, remember to ask if your partner has a turn off for certain sex toys or pleasure products in general. The aim is to get them excited not irritated.

11. Make use of lube

Whether or not you use lubricants during sex with your partner in real life, you might need to give it a try because, without the warmth of your boo’s hand and mouth, it’ll take more time before you can self-lubricate.

Having a lube on standby will cut down on the unnecessary friction and also, the idea of you appearing wet can be visually stimulating for your partner.

12. Talk dirty

Since you don’t have the pleasure of your partner’s touch, taste or smell, amplifying the audio experience is a must. You need to be expressive with your words and let your lover know just how you’re feeling in the sensual way possible. Don’t be afraid to moan, groan, breath heavy or talk dirty during the video call.

Nonetheless, if you’re feeling nervous about talking dirty, especially if it’s not something you’re used to, that’s okay too. Instead, you can express your pleasure with natural sounds that you would make if it was an offline meetup.

13. Be sure to have fun

There’s no need to put yourself under any unnecessary pressure before and during the session with your partner. The most important thing is that you both have time to experiment on what you like and have fun doing so.

Just keep practising being able to communicate your sexual desires virtually and do what feels good for both of you.

14. It’s okay to say you’re nervous

Due to the unprecedented times we’re living in, the chances that your partner is as new to video chat sex as you are is pretty high. You need to understand that being nervous about it would be a natural reaction and speaking up can make you feel more relaxed.

Speak to your partner if you’re feeling nervous and chances are it will take a lot of pressure off you and that way, you can just focus on enjoying yourself.