10 ways men and women date differently, and first date tips for both
Women are considered to be from Venus, whereas Men are from Mars.
It is abundantly clear that men and women are “programmed” very differently when it comes to what they look for in a partner, their thoughts on the dates they have been on, and their feelings about dating. Below, I break down key attributes observed across both sexes:
- Women want men to take the lead
Even though they demand equality in their relationships, women secretly hark after traditional values by wanting men to show assertiveness. As they speak before the actual date, men should try and a certain kind of woman he will be taking out - does she prefer something off the wall or is she a pub and bar kind of girl? If unsure, stick to a classic location such as a nice cocktail bar - after all, women like to be impressed. .
- Women stress about the small stuff
They will go ahead and consider the food and drink choices they make when on a date. A woman's analysis doesn't end with texting, she will wonder whether a drinks date will simply mean just-drinks or might it progress to food? In that case, what food will she order and what drink to take, will the man ask for the bill to be split? To help women out, men should handle some of this stress by simply choosing wine, prepare her on having a meal earlier on, and offering to pay the bill (at least on the first date).
- Women overanalyze everything
Women tend to read into everything, they over-analyze the smallest comments and remarks made by their date to be able to work out how they feel about them, whether they are actually interested. Women will break down everything from the time taken to have their message replied to and how he even said goodbye on the date.
Men hardly agonize over what message to send and when to send it. Now women should keep in mind that a man's text isn't a good indicator of how he is feeling and men should consider women's penchant of over-analysis when contacting them. Even though it may sound outdated in the modern world, but to avoid confusion, men should take time to pick the phone and have a conversation instead. Women tend to appreciate the extra effort and men get to avoid the back and forth involved with texting.
- Women tell everyone
Normally women can't wait to tell their friends about the date they went on, whether it has gone well or not. Family, friends , and colleagues will go through the date from the beginning to the end. They will be taken through the pre-date anxiety and what to wear, to the post-date debrief. Women are happy to disclose more personal information than men. They will go into every single detail, from the shoes the guy was wearing to the number of drinks they had and even whether they kissed or not.
Women will definitely show off if the date went well, but if it didn't live up to expectations, they normally seek validation to make it clear that they were not the problem, but it was all the guy's fault. On the other hand, men will not go around sharing many date details on their group WhatsApp to avoid being ridiculed for being too keen by their friends.
- Women want a second date booked in asap
We have already established that women are usually more anxious than men, especially where dating is involved. They expect men to suggest a second date straight after the first one, considering everything went well. If the man doesn't suggest or make arrangements for a second date, the woman will most certainly worry that the guy didn't like them enough and this will get them heartbroken to some extent. From a man's perspective, they do not see the urgency in arranging a second date, they prefer playing it cool so as not to come across as being too keen.
- Women are more honest
Women are more honest when it comes to dating. Men, on the other hand, hold their cards much closer to their chest and never outwardly offend their date.
I had matched two of my friends for a weekend date. Their feedback clearly shows what I'm talking about.
I read the man's text first: "I enjoyed the evening. I believe we clicked and I look forward to seeing her again soon."The woman's feedback was: " He had the personality of a concrete slab, the sex appeal of a toad and smelled like he had drowned in a vat of beer. He brought up the impending general election two minutes into the date and in the end, he had the audacity to ask if I would accompany him home. I had a few drinks and needed some excitement so I said no, we did have some fun anyway. However, that is all he is going to get and I certainly don't want to see him again!".
- Men like convenience
Convenience is key for men, and this has made them renowned for being lazy in certain elements of their lives, one of them being in the way they date. They make an effort in the beginning, but once a routine has been established, they want a partner to be near them. This makes geography an important determinant of how the relationship progresses. Ladies, you might not be the problem, it might just be the 45-minute Uber ride.
- Men like women to make the first move
Even though they prefer being in charge, they admit that being approached by a woman can be a big turn on. When a woman asks a man for his number or asks him out for a drink, it suggests that she is self-assured and headstrong. Men look for these desirable qualities in a life partner. Mixing things up can be exciting and more often than not a man will respect a woman who has the confidence to make the first move.
- Men don't like over eagerness
Even with the desire to get a headstrong woman, there is a clear difference between eagerness and confidence. If a guy wants something, he will definitely go out and get it, so constantly sending them messages, introducing them to friends too early and discussing marriage might scare them away. Women don't share this line of thought when it comes to keenness. If a man is confessing his undying affection by the second date, he becomes less desirable and no longer oozes manliness. A lesson for both parties: play it cool to maintain attention.
- Men need the message loud and clear
Unlike women, the gents don't over analyze dates, text talk or even body language. They might leave their dates feeling confused about whether the lady found them appealing - even with all the flirting and hair twirling that might have happened during the date. To have the confidence to ask a woman out on a second date, men need things to be spelled out for them. Ladies, just send him a simple text and let him know that you had a good time. You have no idea the wonders that text will do for his ego.
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