You could see them from a mile. They face each other across a restaurant or bistro table, looking awkward and nervous. They are certainly on their first date. Truth is, the first date is where great relationships begin, or stumble into weird, dead-end conversation.
We could easily compare first dates with planes that are slow and leave the gate to get into the runway. You don't know if it gain altitude, and ultimately soar skyward. You don't know if it'll lose some engine power and remain on the runway indefinitely.
If you want to create a perfect first date experience you will need to master the art of banter, or asking meaningful questions. Asking the right questions at the right time, in the right way can give you and your date material to work with - flawlessly. You can explore endless conversations and topics. Let's see what makes for a good questions, as opposed to boring back-and-forth.
Listen as much as you can
While most people believe they are skilled social animals just because they are able to talk a lot, the skill of speaking much is only one part of communication, and certainly not the essential one. Impress by knowing when to stop talking. Think of your date as a random tennis match in which you lob the white ball back and forth. Don't hog the ball, give the other person a turn. Let the woman speak!
Peel the onion, do not stab it
When you meet someone new for the first time, it's just like peeling the onion. Think about layers. It's a safe and slow process, but it's worth it. Don't go into meaningful and deep conversation too fast. Don't ask sensitive or personal questions, don't put the other on the defensive. If your 'thing' will turn into a serious relationship, you'll have enough time to dive into really serious topics.
Do not dump
While some people are really inhibited, others do exactly the opposite: they talk about themselves too much. They reveal too much and too soon, giving a false image of intimacy. Exaggerated or premature revelations are often caused by unresolved pain, self-centeredness, or boundary issues than authentic intimacy.
Use these principles on your next date, and try some of the following questions in your pursuit of mastering the art of conversation of women.
1. What place have you visited and had a huge impact on you?
2. Who's your best friend? Why?
3. What were you like as a child?
4. Who had the biggest influence on you as you grew up?
5. Do you - or did you - have a nickname? What is the actual story behind it?
6. What's your favourite travel destination?
7. What was the best part of your week?
8. What's the worst part about dating?
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