Men sometimes draw a blank when it comes to starting a conversation with a beautiful girl, but part of the reason is because instead of focusing on what they are going to say, they are obsessed with the girl’s looks and possible reaction.

The key to successfully learning how to talk to a girl and starting a conversation with a girl is to completely eliminate your worries about how she will react. This involves a complete letting go of any sense of control you might be harbouring. The reality is that you don’t have any control over what anyone else on this planet does or says. The only control you have is you act and react. The only control you have when you approach a woman to start a conversation is in what you are going to say and how you are going to act and react.

If you begin to believe this, you are halfway there. This realization will free you and give you the self-confidence you need to approach the most amazing women. Part of that mindset that involves letting go of any ideas you might have that you are controlling the situation, is the concept that their reaction doesn’t matter.

Your goals and the outcome you seek need to be modified. They actually need to take a 180-degree switch. Instead of making it your goal to have a woman respond favorably to what you have to say, make it your goal that you can go up to a woman and start a conversation and feel good about it. Your objective is to be proud and pleased with your own performance and how you act. You can’t control how she responds and what she ahs to say in response, but you can control your own words and your own behavior.

So think of something that is situation appropriate and go on up to that amazing woman and give it a shot. Then look at the entire interaction from a distance and decide what you will say and how you will respond to what she says that will leave you feeling good about yourself. By responding this way, you show you have respect for yourself and this will make others look at you in a new light, even if they have just met you.

See the key isn’t what you say to start a conversation; it is how you say it. It is the confidence in how you say things. Really the topic of conversation is irrelevant.

When I first moved to New York and became involved in the pick up artist scene, I was amazed at what some guys would say to women and how often they were successful with the silliest things. Then, later I started teaching guys at Pick Up Artist Bootcamps and one of my favorite challenges was to ask them to think of the worst possible thing I could say to a woman I was trying to pick up.

They would come up with various examples and then I would approach the woman and say that verbatim and ultimately be successful in picking up that woman. It was the ultimate proof that it’s not what you say; it’s how you say it.

About the writer:

Bill Preston has been a pick up artust for the last 5 years in NYC and can teach you the skills you need to be one, as well, including how to text a girl.