Xmeeting.com: Top 6 Dating Mistakes Ottawa Men Make
The first few dates with a new lady-friend are make-or-break occasions. If your lady-friend finds you off-putting at this stage, she’s likely to break things off before they ever get started. The problem is, you’re a bit nervous. You know you’re being evaluated and even some of the things you might be doing in the hope of impressing might fall flat. Singles-Ottawa brings you some common pitfalls that you should avoid according to askmen.com.
#1 You talk about yourself too much
Maybe you like her a lot. You’re inclined to open up about yourself, or maybe you just want to impress her by showing what a unique specimen she could be hooking. So you start talking about yourself and maybe she even encourages you to do so, but your personal expose might fail to impress for one important reason. The lady would like to know that you’re actually interested in her thoughts, experiences or achievements. Constantly talking about yourself makes you appear self-absorbed, egotistical and selfish. You are not off to a good start. Instead of giving her an hour’s lesson on yourself, find out more about her. Keep turning the conversation back towards her feelings, experiences or opinions on current issues. She’ll be flattered by your interest and you’ll get to know her a lot more quickly.
#2 You don’t tell her enough about yourself
Yes, it’s one of those things. You have to find the right balance. You can’t expect her to be interested in you if you don’t share something of yourself. Supposing you tell her you’re an accountant and you had your last holiday in Thailand. That doesn’t really tell her anything about you. It’s a colourless piece of information. Add a bit of detail, share an experience or make a joke. It will engage her interest and tell her something about you, the person. Perhaps she’ll end up wanting to know more, but before she can ask, encourage her to talk about her profession or her last holiday.
#3 Your compliments make her feel uncomfortable
You’ve heard that paying a woman compliments earns you brownie points and there’s a lot to compliment this particular lady about. She’s got a great cleavage. You tell her so. Mistake! You think her butt looks great. You tell her so: Mistake! Remember, your new lady friend is a little bit shy with you. She’s not sure what to think of you and paying her direct compliments such as these will make her feel very uncomfortable indeed. The chances of getting another date with her are suddenly very, very small indeed. Stick to appropriate compliments that don’t have a sexual edge. Saying she has a lovely laugh or you like the way her eyes twinkle will make her feel good. She’ll feel more able to relax with you and you’ll start building trust. Whatever you do, don’t come across hot and heavy with those compliments!
#4 You’re too touchy-feely before she’s ready for it
Will she blame you if you find her so exciting that you want to get physical on the first date? Yes! She will! Most women feel as if they are being objectified rather than appreciated when men make their move too fast. Even trying to kiss her too soon might put your new lady friend to flight. It’s better to move too slowly than too fast. If your lady friend is already panting for you by the time you make your first move, there won’t be any problem, but if she’s not yet sure if she fancies you enough, you probably won’t see her again.
#5 You’re too possessive
Maybe you’re just eager to spend more time with her, but asking her out again too soon might make her worry that she’s giving you the impression that she’s your girlfriend before she’s sure that she wants to be. By all means ask her for another date, but keep a casual demeanour and make sure the date is for at least a week away. This is actually good for you too. Getting a bit of distance between dates will help you to keep your thinking clear and objective.
#6 You don’t make an effort
Some men believe that their dates must accept them ‘as they are’ and on a personal level this is certainly true, but if you extend this philosophy to include the fact that you don’t always wear fresh clothes or brush your hair, you’re making a big mistake. The message you’re conveying is that you don’t care about her impression of you. Fair enough. She thinks you’re a slob and this is probably the last time she’ll go out with you. Make a bit of an effort with your physical appearance, it shows respect.