20 Phone Sex Tips



In today’s digital age, almost everyone owns a smartphone. With improved video and messaging technology, the concept of phone sex seems quite as traditional and outdated as owning a landline telephone. But despite these many alternatives, phone sex can still be a huge turn-on for those who know how to do it.

For couples in long-distance relationships, phone sex is one of the best ways to keep their sexual life active by talking about their sexual desires and fantasies over the phone, often while they both masturbate. But phone sex isn’t limited to couples who are apart. In fact, it is a fantastic way for all couples to spice up their sexual life, according to sexologist and clinical psychologist, Janet Brito, PhD.

But it requires some level of skill and practice to get comfortable with phone sex, especially as it can feel quite daunting and uncomfortable for first-timers. Here are some important tips that can get you sounding all nasty and steamy over the phone in no time.

1. Get consent

Like every sexual activity, phone sex requires consent from both parties. Therefore, you need to be certain that you and your partner are open to the idea of getting freaky over the phone.

2. Build enough suspense

Before you delve right into the phone sex action, you should set the stage for a more intense evening session by subtly teasing your partner during the day. Send them a flirty text or a sexy, NSFW picture that can help you both slowly ease into the mood, advised Gigi Engle, sexologist and certified sex coach.

3. Do it with someone you trust

It is very important to engage in phone sex with someone you really trust especially since you may be sharing NSFW pictures. You wouldn’t want nude pictures and intimate conversations of yours falling into the wrong hands or being used to spite you in future.

4. Seek some inspiration

Before you’re ready to have that sexy phone call with your partner, it is a great idea to seek some inspiration and maybe practise your lines. A live sex cam is a great way to do this. You can either learn from the model and how they’re able to turn you on with certain words or roleplay with the performer.

5. Remove all distractions

Whatever you have that could be a distraction to you once you start the phone call should be eliminated beforehand. Lock your doors, close your laptop, and cancel every other appointment during this time. Your partner deserves your full attention during phone sex just as they would with regular sex—if not even more since it’s a lot harder to get them in the mood without physical contact.

6. Prepare the stage

One important tip to have a great phone sex is setting the right mood. You can choose to dress in a sexy lingerie, dim the lights, change the sheets and light scented candles. This would also help you easily describe the rather sexy scenery that you’re in to your partner.

7. Ease into the moment

Don’t just start dirty talking from the moment your partner picks up the phone. Instead, take your time and ease into it by first learning about their day, suggests Brito. From certain elements in the conversation, you can slowly turn things up a notch until you’re both fully emersed in a steamy conversation.

8. Increase the tempo

Once your partner has started getting comfortable during the conversation, it is time to increase the tempo by talking about how much you want them. At this stage, be sure to include all the details of specific fantasies and sexual activities that crossed your mind before and during the call.

9. Be comfortable

Ensure you’re in a comfortable position during the call and you can even share these details with your partner. Doing this would help them create a near-accurate mental image of you at that moment.

10. Get very wordy

The effectiveness of phone sex is in the choice and volume of words used. The more descriptive you are, the more your partner would be able to imagine these sexual fantasies with you. Take your time to describe each other’s erogenous zones.

In fact, you can create a list of verbs and adjectives you would want to use during the conversation.

11. Use sex toys

Sex toys are a great way to heighten the sexual experience, especially since masturbation is an important element in phone sex. As you attempt to reach orgasm, you can also share the details of what you’re doing with your partner and how it’s making you feel.

12. Leave comments as you go

While it might take some time to get used to, phone sex requires a level of communication that differs from IRL sex. So, as you try out different techniques and toys while masturbating, be sure to share whatever feedback your body gives with your partner.

13. Don’t hold back your moans

Phone sex is all about having an auditory sexual adventure and moaning is just perfect for it. Let out your moans and pleasure your partner even more by letting them imagine just how aroused you are by the sounds you make.

14. Ask questions when stuck

It is possible that there might be a moment of awkward silence and when this happens, quickly ask a question to steer the conversation back on track. Asking your partner questions like “what turns you on the most? Where are your hands right now?” can help you reignite the passion when you suddenly feel stuck.

15. Always listen

One of the biggest mistakes people make when engaging in phone sex is failing to listen to their partner. You risk losing some important cues when you’re stuck on your script, especially since they could be subtly letting you know what they like.

16. Consider role play

Phone sex is an incredible medium to role play because you’re able to easily switch up characters without having to play dress up. So, for a bit more fun, feel free to be creative with your voice, either opting for a higher pitch or a lower one.

17. Speak about past experiences

One great way to heighten the sexual experience during phone sex is to use your memory bank. Talk to your partner about a sexy memory you both shared and it’s a much easier script since you’re both aware of all the specifics.

18. Wait till you both climax

If your goal is to ensure that you both reach orgasm, don’t be in such a hurry if one of you climax before the other. Ideally, you should remain on the line until the other cross the finish line too. Abruptly ending the conversation would definitely ruin the whole experience.

19. Close your eyes

It is a lot easier to navigate through the phone sex experience if you’re only focusing on the things that matter in the moment, such as your partner’s voice, your body sensations and the tingling sounds from your vibrator. Shutting your eyes would take away every distraction and immerse you in the experience.

20. Embrace other digital tools

Part of what makes phone sex so steamy is the use of your imagination, but you can choose to spice things up with other digital tools. If you’re comfortable with it, you can start with phone sex and switch to a video call.

Ultimately, trying something new, bold and different in your relationship would improve your sexual life and inspire a new level of intimacy.


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