AM a married man but can't get over my ex-lover. I am fixated on her.

I am 34 and live in Nigeria. My wife has done a lot to keep the family together and tried her best to get over my affair. I want to as well. We have a son I love so much and would do anything for,

The problem is I just can't forget about my lover. I met her through work and we still have to see one another most days. She understands that as a married man I should concentrate on my family but I still feel so much for her.

Even when I am making love to my wife, I visualise making love with my ex. How do I cure myself of this madness? It is beginning to affect my marriage and I don't want that because of my son.

Deidre says:

The way you tell it you only stayed with your wife for your son's sake. You accept she has tried to make your marriage work but you don't seem really to value your wife. It's your son you would do anything for.

It is good to try to stay together when children will be affected, but it's not going to work unless you make a real effort to rediscover your love for one another. Otherwise your son will pick up the endless unconscious signals you will be sending out that you don't value his mother, and that will have a damaging effect in the long run.

Try to go cold turkey on your lover. Have as little contact with her as possible and don't exchange intimate communications.

Think back to when you met and fell in love with your wife. Don't just see each other as your son's parents. Rediscover the fun and passion you used to share. If it was good then, it can be good now.

I'm sending you my leaflet of 50 Ways To Brighten Your Love Life. Make your marriage as much fun as an affair.

Internet site reference: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/deidre/worldwide/3821317/Deidre-Worldwide-Im-obsessed-with-my-ex-lover.html