Dating: Girlfriend cuts-off niceties to boyfriend for bad behaviour



Q.  I cut my boyfriend off from all the little niceties. I refuse to buy him food when I buy for myself, and I no longer let him use my netflix (amongst other things). This came about because of the way he has acted the last month. Was it right for me to cut him off until things get better, or was it childish?

A. Yeesh. No, not a fan of this. You're acting more like his mom than his girlfriend. Cutting him off from the normal things in your relationship is withholding and passive aggressive. And much like the silent treatment, we're not fans of passive aggressive behaviour in relationships. 

Also, I'm wondering why your guy is okay with this. Did he apologize for how he acted? Has he done anything to make up for it and convince you he has changed and won't be a jerk anymore? You know who gets privileges taken away when they do something wrong? Kids. Maybe they'll change their behavior and learn from their mistakes, or maybe they'll just sullenly suffer through their punishment. But they may mess up again, and get their cell phone or PSP taken away. You know why? BECAUSE THEY ARE CHILDREN AND THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. Unlike your boyfriend, they are learning to be responsible people. 

Your boyfriend is ostensibly an adult if he has a girlfriend with a Netflix account and normally enjoys the nice cheese she gets at the grocery store. So he should act like a man and apologize and make it up to you. And you should stop being passive aggressive. Sure, you might need some time to forgive him. There may be issues you need to talk through. Maybe he needs to know how he acted was not okay, and you don't want to be with someone who treats you that way. But he doesn't need to be treated like a child. It's not healthy for either of you. Also, you deserve to be with someone who you don't have to treat like a child.

Internet site reference: http://www.guyspeak.com


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